Someone emailed these games and I cant stop playing them!

Pacman game   [Download]

Tetris game [Download]

Sonic Game [Download]

  "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl".
  The priest asks, "Is that you, Johnny Byrne?"
  "Yes, Father, it is."
  "And who was the girl you were with?"
  "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

  "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may
  as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?"
  "I cannot say."

  "Was it Teresa Brown?"
  "I'll never tell."

  "Was it Margaret Doyle?"
  "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

  "Was it Anne O' Neil?"
  "My lips are sealed."

  "Was it Catherine 0' Toole, then?"
  "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

  The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped Johnny, and I    admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar    boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

  Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and    whispers, "What'd you get?"
  Four months holiday and five good leads."

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. 

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. 

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."
In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the
unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment
referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam
after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

For a video to see how beer works click here:

Beer Demo 

HOW WE SLEEP AFTER A FEW BEERS WITH FRIENDS





HOW WE SLEEP AFTER A FEW  WINES WITH FRIENDS





HOW WE SLEEP AFTER A FEW  MARGARITAS WITH FRIENDS





HOW WE SLEEP AFTER TWO BOTTLES OF JACK DANIELS




HOW WE SLEEP AFTER SHARING A  FEW BOTTLES OF WINE




HOW WE SLEEP AFTER A FEW KAMIKARZIS






AND AFTER A FEW BEERS, WINES, KAMAKARZIS, JACK DANIELS, MARGARITS.....

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes.

Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen

  Just like a husband !!!

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he  thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her,    he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
 
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband  could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
 
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away  from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears    you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a  response."
 
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was    in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away,  let's see what  happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
 
 
  No response.
 
 
  So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his    wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
 
 
  Still no response.
 
 
 
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from    his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
 
  Again he gets no response.
 
 
 
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey,  what's for dinner?" 



Again there is no response.
 
 
  So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
 
 
 
  (I just love this)
 
 
 
  "Ralph , for the FIFTH  *$%# ' time, CHICKEN!"

BANYOS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

[Download]

Mooooooooooo!

Economic Models explained with Cows- 2007 update

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then  throws the
milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

A N    A M E RIC A N    C O R P O R A T I O N
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped  dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using  letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get  all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an  intermediary to a Cayman island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an  option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,  leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. 

The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because  you want three  cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary  cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a  month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine  productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade  your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.